New Decade, New Headspace
JANUARY 2020 HOROSCOPES
Hitting the refresh button on January 1 can be, well, refreshing. Having said that, we find rebelling against New Year’s resolutions to be even more invigorating than making promises to yourself that you can’t keep. We say resolutions, schmesolutions! This isn’t to say you shouldn’t try to be better––to the contrary. Instead of vowing to be a perfect human when the clock strikes 12, take your time. Every second of every day presents an opportunity to make good choices. So, make mostly good ones, don’t beat yourself up for making questionable ones, and take things as they come.
But if you don’t resolve to dissolve your flaws, what’s to be expected in the first month of the Roaring Twenties revival? Luckily for you, the zodiac can give us some hints. Without further ado, folks, here are your January horoscopes:
CAPRICORN, December 22 – January 20
The holidays are over, but that doesn’t mean you have to nix your party habits. I heard Jesus drank wine, and he’s the most famous Capricorn. Whether your drug of choice is vino, CBD, or whipped cream from a can, do you!
AQUARIUS, January 21 – February 18
Hey there, Aqua Angel. Actions speak louder than New Year’s resolutions. This month, walk the walk to show yourself (and those around you) that you mean business.
PISCES, February 19 – March 20
It’s a new year and a new decade, but the Age of Pisces goes until 2150. So, celebrate like it’s your Birth-Millenium, throwing your resolutions to the wind.
ARIES, March 21 – April 20
It might not be your birthday month, but Aries is the first sign in the zodiac. Embrace this ranking, and dive into 2020 with authority and assertiveness.
TAURUS, April 21 – May 20
Who says you need change just because it’s January? Instead of vowing to amend your ways, I say leverage your existing strengths––you stubborn bull, you.
GEMINI, May 21 – June 20
As the sign of the twins, Geminis are thought to have dueling dispositions. From your sweet and thoughtful side to your clever character traits that clap back, why not express all aspects of your personality? The more, the merrier.
CANCER, June 21 – July 22
Don’t be surprised if you feel a little under the weather this January. While you might not be able to start the year off with a bang like you anticipated, before you know it, things will begin to look up––in more ways than one.
LEO, July 23 – August 22
Speaking of the Roaring Twenties, Leo lionesses like yourself will be entering the next decade with prowess. As the Kween of the jungle, taking on a leadership role might be a more effortless venture than initially expected.
VIRGO, August 23 – September 22
Virgos take on the symbol of the maiden, but that doesn’t mean you’re a damsel in distress. In actuality, you’re a badass babe with a to-do list only you can accomplish. To ensure everything gets done this month, put on your blinders and go with your gut.
LIBRA, September 23 – October 22
Represented by weighted scales, Libras are supposedly all about balance. And yet, if January has you feeling a little off-kilter, don’t try to fix things just yet. A lopsided psyche might lead the way to a new and helpful perspective.
SCORPIO, October 23 – November 22
Scorpio is one of three water signs and represented by three animals: the scorpion, the snake, and the phoenix. As 2020 kicks off, keep in mind that good things come in threes. Take note of numerical patterns, and remember thrice is better than twice.
SAGITTARIUS, November 23 – December 21
As every archer knows, you don’t need to write down your resolutions to hit your targets. This January, zero in on what you really want and take the extra steps to make shit happen.
Theresa Healey is a contributing writer for BARBARI and the author of a health and lifestyle blog called The Taboo Textbook. Theresa is a full time writer, mom, and sometimes comedian. Her blogging journey started with a poorly-designed tumblr account in 2014 and evolved into an accidental online personality. Theresa likes telling jokes and writing weekly movie reviews on Instagram. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her family.
Follow her on IG @TheTabooTextbook.